The best of Rajinikanth facts

Advisory: Spread some mat or carpet on the floor before reading this.

• Rajnikanth once roundhouse kicked a Tata truck in Chennai. It became the Tata Nano and fell on Mamata Banerjee’s head in Kolkata
• Matrix was originally planned in Tamil as அச்சு வார்ப்புரு with Rajinikanth as Rajinikanth. But the bullets were so shit scared that they pissed in the barrels and refused to come out of the guns in his presence.
• Rajinikanth once went to Jim Corbett National Park. After eight straight hours of snapping pictures, the tired tigers ran out of camera film.
• Rajinikanth doesn’t need to sleep with a gun under his pillow. He is deadlier with the pillow.
• The movie ’300′ was initially planned to be made with Rajinikanth. It was originally named ’1′.
• Viagra often needs Rajinikanth.
• No one messes with Rajinikanth. Only Rajinikanth can mess with himself.
• Rajinikanth is faster than email. He is now officially the second fastest thing in the Universe after MMS.
• Rajinikanth uses pepper spray as eye drops.
• There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Rajinikanth has allowed to live.
• Rajinikanth counted to infinity – twice.
• Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Rajinikanth.
• There are no races, only countries of people Rajinikanth has beaten to different shades of black and blue
• In the beginning there was nothing…then Rajinikanth kicked that nothing in the face and said “Get a job”. That is the story of the universe
• Rajinikanth has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
• Rajinikanth doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint
• There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajinikanth lives in Chennai
• Rajinikanth once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink
• James Cameron wanted Rajinikanth to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
• Thousands of years ago Rajinikanth came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair
• There is no ‘ctrl’ button on Rajinikanth’s computer. Rajinikanth is always in control.
• Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Rajinikanth has 72… and they’re all poisonous.
• Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Rajinikanth.
• There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.
• Once while killing a baddie, Rajini slapped himself and the other guy simply disintegrated. RESONANCE !!
• As a child when Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he simply assembled the alphabets and that is how we have the alphabets in the order of A to Z now..!!
• Rajanikanth never tweets. He only roars!
• If a tiger had sex with a tornado and then their tiger-nado baby got married to an earthquake, their offspring would be Rajinikanth
• We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajinikanth.
• Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajinikanth, there is no other way.
• Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.
• The statement "nobody can cheat death", is a personal insult to Rajnikanth. Rajni cheats and fools death everyday.
• In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajinikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
• Rajinikant got his drivers license at the age of 16 seconds.
• Rajinikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
• Who do you think taught Voldemort Parseltongue? Rajinikanth did.
• Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.
• Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.
• Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars.
• Rajinikanth can throw the Thackerays out of Mumbai.
• Rajinikanth knows Victoria's secret.
• The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved.
• Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald's, and got it.
• Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs.

Poker face

This is a message to the facebook citizens from the bottom my heart.An honest pledge.
From now on, there shall be no violence. I will choose to peace. No more poking!! lets live in peace and harmony pokers! poking each other again and again never helps the cause, it only causes pain and suffering. I must have caused terrible amounts of pain poking people, but i ask for forgiveness because i know how much it sears each time someone pokes me. Lets forget the animosity and lets bring an end to it. poking shall be a thing of the past. Let us all make facebook a happy place to live. Sarve janah sukhino bhavant. may peace prevail!